Thursday, December 17, 2020

Snowfall


Well, it comes again, the winter,

In a tempest, overnight,

Coming down hard as we’re sleeping,

Washing the forest with white.

 

Well, it rattles in the corners,

And bustles on the boughs,

And coats the drowsy dormers,

And crowns the placid cows;

 

Well, it comes on feet so silent

We only hear the wind;

We roll over, half-smiling,

And whisper to winter: “Come in.”

Saturday, October 31, 2020

The Churchyard

 

The moon had been lost hours ago, in a thick pall of suffocating cloud.  Edward held the lamp high, casting a red glow over the yawning grave.  Below him, the two men labored and sweated, flinging up dirt that vanished in the dark.

It was cold in the churchyard.  A raw wind howled out of the north.  Above him the bare branches creaked and snapped in the breeze, and somewhere far off in the valley a lone dog bayed against the demon night.  Edward shuddered and tightened the cloak about his neck.

There were stories about this place.  Edward tried not to think of them.  It was said, and half-believed, in the district that on moonless autumn nights, the dead would stir in their graves and rise up to take the air.  The faithful swore they rose only to avenge some dreadful sin: a murder, a betrayal, a blasphemy, a fratricide.  But who is without sin? whispered others – less certain, perhaps, of the benevolence of God’s world.  Let that man walk in that churchyard late at night.  Let him brave the houses of the dead, if he chooses; me for the tavern, and my bed before middle night.

At last, with a scraping crunch that Edward felt in his teeth, one of the shovels found the lid of the coffin.  Sensing an end to their efforts, the men below quickened their pace.  They cleared the dirt from the coffin’s lid, tied a thick rope to its iron handle, and helped each other to climb free of the grave.  Edward set his lamp aside and took hold of the rope along with the others.  Heaving with all their strength, they jerked one end of the coffin loose.

It cost them a feverish effort to drag the heavy oaken box up to level ground, but at last it lay before them, dark and dirt-encrusted, with the black womb that had borne it gaping behind like a toothless mouth.  They looked at it, breathing heavily, their breath a warm white wraith in the lamplight.  For long, black moments they were still, and the world was still.

It was Edward’s father that broke the silence.  “Pass me that crowbar, boy.”

“One moment, Simeon.”  This time it was the priest who spoke.  He knelt down in the dirt, held his little cross to his lips, and muttered a quick prayer.

Edward handed the crowbar to his father, and with a few quick jerks he pried the lid free.  A smell rose up from the coffin, a stench of long, slow, lightless decay.  Edward stepped back, repulsed, but curiosity drew him forward again.  His father took a deep, steadying breath and threw back the lid.

It was a body, but it was not Sarah’s.  A black-stained mass of matted fur lay in the coffin, legs folded, broken and pitiful.  Edward sucked in his breath, and tears came into his eyes.

Reverend Shaw looked at Edward’s father.  “Yours?” he asked softly.

Simeon Barrett nodded.  “Aye, that’s Tippet.  I’m sorry, boy.  I know you were fond of him.”

Edward fought back the tears, willing himself to be stoic and calm.  After all, it was Sarah they were concerned with; it was she they had come seeking, there in the cold and starless night.  Sarah was not in the coffin.  Sarah might yet be alive.

“I owe you an apology, Simeon,” the reverend was saying.  “When Loren Teague came to me with the coffin, and said he had found your Sarah dead when he went calling, I took the man at his word.  The devil’s in those Teague men, I know it, but in my innocence I never conceived…”

“ ’Tisn’t your fault, Jonas.  I ought never to have left her alone on that farm.  Ought to have left the boy with her, leastways.  But that’s all past, and beyond all mending.  The main thing is, we know now that Teague lied.”

Edward looked at his father.  “What’s he done with her, sir?”

Simeon Barrett’s jaw tightened beneath the skin.  “It don’t bear thinking on.”

They were silent then, a chill wind soughing through the hush.  Below the wind, a dry, shuffling noise rose up at the edge of hearing.  No doubt it was only the dead leaves stirring among the gravestones, but to Edward’s ear it summoned up all the legends of this haunted place: the unrestful dead, clawing their way up from out of the earth’s bosom, silent and terrible, fingers itching for the feel of living flesh.  Edward shivered and buried himself in his cloak.

 A loud snap only a dozen yards off made all three of them jump.  “Who’s there?” called Edward’s father.  His voice was clear and booming, but there was a hoarseness in it that made Edward’s heart beat faster still.

Edward held up the lantern, but its flickering light only seemed to deepen the shadows.  Out there, in the icy blackness, the shuffling had grown louder.  Shapes moved at the limit of his vision – dark things that crowded forward with queer sidling steps.  Father tightened his grip on the shovel.  They had brought no gun.  Yet even had the three of them been armed and ready, what victory could a living man hope to achieve over the shambling dead?

A pale face rose up out of the shadows, ghastly and thin in the trembling lamplight.  Pale lips curled into a mockery of a smile.  Edward held his breath.  He knew that face.  This was no dead man come to harry them; this was Loren Teague.

Teague stopped, a few paces away.  “A greeting to you, Simeon,” he said mildly.  Behind him, other men emerged from the night’s bosom: Paul Teague, Loren’s brother, and Amos Teague, their cousin, and mad Dabny Russart, who had married a Teague girl.  There were others, lurking back in the shadows, half-seen at the edge of the lamplight.  They were eight or ten men in all.

“What have you done with my daughter, Teague?”  Father’s voice came thick, choked with fury.  The shovel hung at his side, an unspoken threat.

Loren Teague smiled.  It was the ugliest thing Edward had ever seen.

“It ain’t what I’ve done, Simeon; it’s what I’m going to do.  Your girl and I are engaged to be married.  We ride for Pommeret Sunday morning; the priest there knows me, and he knows I’m to be obliged.  It grieves me sore that you won’t make it to the wedding.  You have my word, though, I’ll take good care of the girl.”

Father tightened his grip on the shovel.  “God damn you, Teague.”

The other man grinned, showing a mouth of jagged teeth.  “God smiles upon me, Simeon.  He always has.”

Loren Teague gave a signal, and his men came forward, raising rifles and shotguns.  With a sudden jerk of his arm, Father dashed the lantern from Edward’s hand; it shattered on the half-frozen ground, plunging them into darkness.  A shot rang out, lonely against the vastness of night.  With a cry, Father surged forward to attack.

What happened then would haunt Edward for the rest of his life.  A hideous noise of rending and wrenching rose up about them, drowning out all thought.  Strange cries and wails and howls clove the night.  Men screamed, and the screams were silenced; guns were fired, and then fell silent too.  Snappings and grindings and horrible wet squelches followed, making Edward feel sick.  He found himself clinging to his father – and found, to his horror and consternation, that his father was clinging back.

Then it was done.  The wind wove through the high branches above them.  A vague shuffling, as of a million leaves falling at once, filled the night; then silence reigned again.

With uncanny swiftness, the moon broke free of its veil of cloud.  Edward saw that it was not his father, but Reverend Shaw, that he was clinging to.  They pulled apart with an embarrassed movement and turned to survey the scene before them.

The bodies of the Teague men were strewn about like discarded dolls.  They had been torn and twisted in a dozen nauseating ways.  Stray limbs lay here and there, like toys in a child’s untidy room.  Some of the bodies bore the marks of teeth.

Simeon Barrett knelt amidst the carnage, stroking the dead dog Tippet with gentle fingers.  “Good boy,” he was saying softly.  “Good boy.”

He lifted Tippet, cradling him tenderly, and laid him down in his coffin to rest.  In silence, by moonlight, the three of them lowered the coffin into the grave and piled the dirt back on top of it.  The other graves appeared undisturbed, but Edward knew better.  Dead men had walked that night – walked, and killed.

 

*          *          *

 

The Teague men were buried in a hollow, far from the church.  “The churchyard is for the righteous,” opined Reverend Shaw.  “God’s dead look after God’s children.  And the wrath of God is fearsome to behold.”

Sunday, October 25, 2020

A Schoolbus in Someone’s Yard with a Tree Growing through the Roof

 

It’s not there to be made into a poem,

Captured in a photograph, remembered in a song;

It’s not there to symbolize or signify,

Conveniently enciphering 

What you already believed.

 

It’s there for a thousand reasons,

None of them to do with you,

And when you gun your engine and pass on,

 

It’ll be there still, equally indifferent;

More lucid than a poem, truer than a photograph,

And stronger than any symbol –

Carved in memory till you die.

 

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Falls

 

There are more leaves up there than you would imagine. 

They fall for a month – longer – and never stop. 

Thousands a day, and that should be the end of it, 

But thousands fall tomorrow, 

And Thursday, and on and on.

 

It’s a little like the moments of your life, 

Drying up and tumbling, with a rustling shower, past, 

In reckless profusion, uncaring, spent in the wind –

 

And still, after thousands and millions have flown by, 

You have a few moments left to survey the wreckage, 

Before the last leaves drop, and winter silence falls.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Eddie Van Halen

 


Man, this one hurts. Seeing Van Halen live was one of the great concert experiences of my life, and their music is still the closet thing we have to injecting pure joy straight into your veins. As for Eddie, he was, in my humble opinion, the greatest rock guitarist of all time. Devin and I talk regularly about what a perfect artist he was – a technical genius who never, ever, EVER let the display of his astonishing skill take precedence over the needs of the song.

Thank you for living, Eddie Van Halen. You made us want to dance the night away.

Friday, July 24, 2020

The One Thing There Is



There is only the path –
A breath, and a step forward.
There is only the road,
Spooled out beneath high sky –
The smoke of the fire in the camp at night,
Dawn rising, a shouldering of packs,
And on.

The Leap



When a deer jumps, it jumps in slow motion,
Hung up in the air too long for gravity –
Who, as we know, is jealous of his claims –
Not to resent this flouting of his rules.

For a heartbeat, it’s a mere deer ornament,
Adorning whatever unfelled Christmas tree
You’re seeing in the background; there are more
To choose from than your house could ever need.

Then front legs fall, and rear legs follow,
The landing just a heavy afterthought,
And once again the deer is prey to all
The shocks and predators a meek soul fears;

But in your memory she’ll always be
Extended, leaping, among frozen boughs –
The one thing that will never need to fall,
To die, to change, or even touch the ground.

Saturday, July 4, 2020

Flag-Waving Poem



Of all nations maybe the most human,
A sprawling, shambling, striving, failing mess,
Lit up with inspiration, with ambition,
With high ideals and barefaced hungers both,

She stands atop Olympus, lofty, lonely,
With her Olympian lust, Olympian pride,
Her all-too-mortal faults, immortal story –
A shining light to others, to herself.

In letting power fall to common men,
She blazed a trail that often blazed again;
In business, innovation, art, she curled
A sturdy arm about the willing world;

And if her finest hour was in war,
Her greatest strength is what she fought it for:
The love of freedom, enterprise, and blind,
Unlooked-for progress following behind.

Let those who like debating things debate
If she is, was, or ever will be great.
She knows they never ask that question of
A country they don’t envy, fear, or love.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Carl Reiner




It's a sad day for comedy. Let's all watch ALL OF ME again and raise a glass to the great Carl Reiner – actor, comedian, director, novelist, gentleman.

Thank you for living, Mr. Reiner. I wish you'd made it to 2000, but 98 ain't too bad.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

HBO


HBO likes to pretend their name derives from the phrase "Home Box Office," but the truth is that they were founded by a filthy, filthy hobo.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Sam



He was a hunter to the very end.
When he could barely lift his head, he would,
Just for the chance of sighting some fat bird
He must have known he could never reach.

He was a terror to the local mice,
Inside the house or on the forest floor –
A legend in the tiny minds of moles –
A dreadful enemy of smaller things.

But to us larger things, he was a friend
As kind as any gentle herbivore.
He would curl up, unbeckoned, by your side,
And purr against you, and the world was right.

And now he hunts in other places, far
From any creature that could do him harm –
From all the slow diminishings of age,
And every ailment of the wasting world.

The woods are thick with every kind of game,
Four-pawed and stutter-winged; the earth is warm,
And softly yielding to the questing paw;
The sky is bright and full of living things.

He stops.  He lifts his head.  The breeze bears in
The sound of twittering; he’s off again.

Monday, April 20, 2020

The Road’s Wisdom



The difficult thing is to not get ahead.
Don’t buy tomorrow’s trouble with today’s new coin.
The path may ramble, or become choked up
With snaring hindrances; you may turn back,

But only to find a better path behind.
Don’t stride ahead with both feet at one time;
Keep one shoe grounded in the bolstering earth;
Don’t look beyond horizon-lines for boons,

Or blights, or better days to come,
But let them come to you, like wandering dogs,
Who always seem to find their way back home
The minute you stop searching, just as you will find

Your way to what you’re seeking, when it’s time.

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Encounter on Water Street

 
ME: That's a beautiful dog.
 
OLD MAN WALKING HIS DOG: They were going to kill this dog the day after I got him. He was scheduled for termination.
 
ME: Really? He's lovely. What kind of dog is he?
 
OLD MAN: He's a Belgian Malinois.
 
ME: Belgian Malinois.
 
OLD MAN: It's the same dog they used to get Bin Laden. The same breed.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

April Shower



Today was all blossoms and blowing snow –
A marriage of winter and spring.
It went the way marriages often go:
Heart-breakingly brief, but a beautiful thing.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

A Strange New Kind of God



He was a god you could have dinner with,
Even if it wasn't always a blast.
He was a god who ate and smiled and talked,
Instead of sitting on a thundercloud,
Sending down plagues and testing fathers
By killing and torturing daughters and sons.

In fact, it was we who tortured him,
Because he was a god you could nail to a cross,
Who would bleed and moan most pleasingly,
If you were into that kind of thing.

But he was also a god who rose again,
As if to show you how small you were,
With all your brightly armored Roman strength,
And thinking killing him would slow him down.

Instead it only made him bolder, and
His followers put crosses round their necks,
Which was, you felt, entirely missing the point –
But try explaining that to them.

In the end, it was the slaves who won.
There were more of them, and they outlasted you.
It's not a world for emperors anymore,
And all because that brash carpenter's son
Would not stop talking, even after death,
And people listened, and the world was changed.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

April


Life is bursting yellow
Out of the limbs of trees;
The days are growing mellow,
Though still with a cutting breeze;


Deep in a million burrows
Two million eyes awake,
And through once-frozen furrows
New shoots begin to break.

The human heart is a lonely,
A complicated thing,
But something grateful only
Will warm it come the spring.

Mort Drucker



Feels like I've been doing way too many of these lately.

Mort Drucker was one of the greatest caricaturists of all time, an inspirations to generations of artists, and a delight to generations of MAD fans. His work was deft, goofy, and seemingly effortless – but you don't get that good without an incredible amount of work.

Also, this (from his New York Times obituary) is amazing:

"Mad’s 1981 parody of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, THE EMPIRE STRIKES OUT, prompted the Lucasfilm legal department to send a cease-and-desist letter demanding that the issue be recalled. Mad replied by sending a copy of another letter they had received the previous month — from George Lucas, offering to buy the original artwork for the EMPIRE parody and comparing Mort Drucker to Leonardo da Vinci.”

Thank you for living, Mort Drucker. You were the best of madmen.

Adam Schlesinger



Adam Schlesinger was one of the best pop songwriters in the history of the medium. Fountains of Wayne is an all-time great rock band, "That Thing You Do" is a modern classic, and even the deliberately stupid "Pop! Goes My Heart" (from "Music and Lyrics") is inspired. The man just couldn't seem to write a bad song. His loss is an incalculable blow to the world of music, but he leaves behind a legacy that will last and last and last.

Thank you for living, Adam Schlesinger. You really had it going on.

Pandemic Talk


Social isolation, Day 11.

Devin: I feel like this day has just been hours of waiting to eat ham.

Albert Uderzo



I basically learned to read French from Asterix comics. Uderzo's illustrations were fluid, masterful, and brimming with humor and life.

Thank you for living, Albert Uderzo. You made the world a little more cheerful.

The Sleeping Tree



The tree had lain down like a slumberous giant –
Lain down, one might have thought, to die –
But sap is wily; wood is pliant;
Bountiful still are soil and sky.

The boughs not bowed below its body
Raised up like flowers after snow,
And on its length, once tall and haughty,
A dwarflike forest seemed to grow.

Our thriving takes a thousand forms,
And some of them look like defeat;
But while the sun still gently warms,
The earth still teems beneath our feet,

We have enough to make our vigor show,
For all to witness, and a few to know.

Kenny Rogers


 

"The Gambler" is one of the first songs I remember loving. It remains an all-time great song, and it'll be sung and listened to for a long, long time yet.

Thank you for living, Kenny Rogers. Hope you felt you broke even and then some.

Friday, January 24, 2020

Everybody



Everybody’s very happy.
Everybody’s having a ball.
Everybody’s climbing Kilimanjaro,
Going to Spain in the spring and fall;

Everybody’s getting married
To the most wonderful women and men;
Everybody’s having beautiful babies
And seeing the wonder of childhood again;

Everybody’s feeling inspired,
Loving the journey and conquering fear;
Everybody’s living the life they imagined;
They’re blessed and they’re blissful; they wish you were here.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Terry Jones

 
 
I am, and always will be, one of those horrible people who insist on quoting Monty Python sketches.

Terry Jones was EASILY one of the top five members of the greatest comedy troupe of all time. He also directed two of the best film comedies the world has ever seen.

Thank you for living, Terry Jones. I hope they serve spam in heaven. You've earned it.

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Resolve



I will buckle more swash;
I will derring do;
I will plunder more diamonds,
And sail more seas;

The devil may care,
But I will not;
I will brook no guff;
I will drink to the lees.

I will rip more bodices,
Dig more graves,
Duel more duels
In the rising sun;

I will live like a demon
And laugh like the damned,
And sleep like the just
When the day is done.

Thursday, January 2, 2020

Overheard at the Mountainside Cafe


OLD MAN #1: He was not a nice man.
OLD MAN #2: Who?
OLD MAN #1: Lord Byron.
OLD MAN #3: He was fun, though.
OLD MAN #1: He was very mean to women. But luckily, he drowned.

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

2020



Clean slates are for dirtying again;
White canvases are to ruin with paint,
New years for new disasters, new mistakes,
Old dreams, new courage, and the pain of hope.