Fashion

  

"I don't like your outfit because it's not PINK!"
-Kiva, unprompted

Secrets

 

"I have a secret workshop, and I’m not allowed to tell you about it. But you’ll probably find it anyway, because of the sign."

 

-Remy, 7

The Bull of Happiness

 

An actual exchange between me and my seven-year-old niece:

 

REMY: (a propos of nothing) The Bull of Happiness!

 

ME: The Bull of Happiness? What’s that?

 

REMY: It’s just a bull that eats everybody and makes everybody sad.

 

It’s official. I have nothing left to teach this child.

Vibes

 

The coffee shop had a sign on the door that said “Good Vibes Only,” so just as an experiment, I walked in with a really bad vibe.

Was thrown out immediately. They are NOT kidding around with that stuff.

Philosophy

 

Sometimes I think that the whole purpose of philosophy is gratitude, and that any line of thought which does not end in gratitude is simply a waste of time.

Dialogue with Kiva

 

KIVA (age 3): Carry me upstairs!

 

ME (age 43): You can walk upstairs yourself, Kiva.

 

KIVA (lifting her arms adorably): Pleeeeeeeeaaase?

 

ME (instantly giving in): Okay, okay...

 

DARCY: Uncle Keith is a sucker.

 

KIVA (punching me repeatedly in the arm as I carry her): Sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker...

Representation

 

Types of people I don’t need to see represented in media anymore:

1. Ugly people (gross!)
2. Attractive people (make me feel bad!)
3. Average-looking people (so boring!)

Types of people that I DO need to see represented more in media:

1. Cartoon foxes